For what?

By "dialog" we mean the kind of conversations that change something in us when we participate in them and that move something between the people involved in the conversation. Dialogues are the place where we need to 'risk' being authentic and co-create a space where others can do the same (Andersen 2021). It is about challenging our habits of thinking and talking: listening with attention, speaking with intention and daring to turn the camera around to see ourselves and the roles we occupy within a system. In this dialog space, we seek to understand not through facts or intellectual knowledge, but by taking a different perspective, seeing through another person's eyes and story, and gaining a new sense of the environment to which the topic under discussion belongs. Complex topics are often discussed by experts and the management level of companies. However, giving space to the diverse voices in the company - the voices of the people who are directly affected by a decision, for example - opens up many more perspectives and blind spots can be identified.

This type of dialog needs to be exercised like a muscle on a regular basis to radically change the quality of any conversation - be it with one person or with hundreds of people.

Example

An important strategic decision is about to be made in the company that will be decisive for the coming years. The principles of dialog can also be applied to smaller decisions. What matters here is the scope of the issue and who is involved. This results in the decision as to whether and which option should be chosen for this conscious dialog.

The principle of dialog can generally be applied whenever we speak to another person. The decisive factor here is the intention. If it's just a matter of making small talk in the tea room or clarifying an appointment, you can also adhere to the principles of dialog, but they don't play such a big role. Here it is important to recognize how we want to approach the other person depending on the situation.

We can consciously use the principles of dialog to have a conversation at eye level, for example between the CEO and employees or customers. This allows new things to emerge and we move away from telling others what they should do. In dialog, we can develop and work on something together and thus use our synergy with the other person. We no longer listen in order to respond, but to be inspired.

The dialog principles are also recommended for everyday situations.

What matters

• Speak from a first-person perspective. Report from your own perception, perspective and story and do not become an "expert" on the entire topic being discussed.
• Concentrate on the core messages and the essentials that need to be communicated.
• Be fully present - in your perception, body sensations and feelings.
• Don't be influenced by your own evaluations, judgments or assumptions. Nobody knows everything, and it is not about who is right, but about exploring together and bringing to the surface what is not yet visible. This is what distinguishes dialog from discussions and debates.
• Let each other talk, speak with intention and one at a time. Listen to each other carefully. Show each other respect.
• If you are overwhelmed by what is being said or there is too much information for you at once, you can also ask the other person to stop for a moment until what has been said has reached you and you have received all the information.
• Link and connect your ideas without viewing knowledge as property, but as mutual inspiration.
• Make sure that everyone can be heard. Also invite silent participants to express themselves.
• Accept differing opinions. There is no need to reach a consensus on what is being said. Innovation comes from bringing together different perspectives and ideas.
• Make feelings transparent and thus create a level of discussion beyond preconceived opinions.
• Get fully involved: with your humanity, but also with your knowledge and experience.

Step by step

Step 1

Create a safe space (online or offline): First, create a safe

Together, we create the framework conditions for a space in which you and your discussion partners feel safe. It is important to give the participants the assurance that what is said will remain in the room and will not be used against them. Also be aware that each individual contributes to the safety of the room and that this is not solely your task as a leader/facilitator.

Step 2

Door opener/icebreaker: To bring the participants of the dialog into a state of openness and trust, the beginning of the dialog can be designed in a playful way (e.g. with a creative check-in or a physical exercise).

Step 3

Dialog: A dialog usually takes place at a certain specified time.

topic or a question. The four most important principles are summarized once again:

• speak from the first-person perspective
• speak out of an intention (purposefulness, core element)
• Listen attentively
• Replace advice with curiosity

Step 4: After the dialog, what has been said can be reviewed by a team member.

be summarized orally and/or in writing or recorded in other creative ways (video, photos, painted pictures, etc.).

Variants

Triads: In a triad, a dialog takes place between three participants. They take on different roles, which they swap one after the other. A time frame is set for each speaker (e.g. 5 minutes), which must be strictly adhered to so that everyone has the same amount of speaking time. After each speaker, feedback can be offered by the other two roles (e.g. 2 minutes), after which the roles are swapped. Time can also be scheduled for a general feedback round after everyone has spoken.

These three roles are filled in triads:

• Speaker/storyteller: This person reports on their insights and experiences in relation to the question (according to the principles of dialog).
• Listener: This person listens actively, asks in-depth questions and tries to determine the central theme of the story - they can also allow moments of silence.
• Observer/witness: The observer focuses on what images and emotions emerge during the speech and what body language and essence is communicated. The observer can take notes or draw and offer these to the speaker as feedback.

Dialogue walk: In a dialogue walk, two employees (regardless of role or status in the company) go for a walk together and enter into a dialog with each other. You can meet physically in person - or keep in touch by phone. Formulate a question or a topic that you would like to talk about and become aware of the principles of dialog again. Now the first speaker begins to talk about the topic or question within a predetermined time frame (e.g. 7 - 10 minutes). The other person listens empathetically and attentively without interrupting. Then it is the other person's turn. Afterwards, you can discuss what has been said together or organize a follow-up. The advantage of this method is that you create a different setting to connect with each other.

out of the office and into nature and physical activity.

Framework

Duration: 15 - 90 minutes (depending on team size, dialog variant and topic)

Format: Specify questions and topic, select variant

Participants: Team, parts of the team, entire company

You can find more information on this and other tools for overcoming business challenges with communicative means in the book "Rethinking communication".